To scream or not to scream...

Okay, so in my very first blog I tried to stay positive, despite all of the crap that was gumming up my life right now. I figured if I remained upbeat and concentrated on my blessings that the feeling of dread and fear would dissipate a little bit. No such luck, it turns out.

Only change from last Friday to now is that I'm more stressed out than last week. Unfortunate, eh?

I can't even write a decent blog today. My nerves are shot. Constant distraction thanks to the kiddos, who don't know any better. I'm trying so hard not to let the grown-up problems affecting hubs and me to trickle down on to them. That's hard to do, and I have to make a conscientious effort not to spill over in front of them; for that would do all of us no good.

I know what it means to miss New Orleans

There are only a few truly 'defining' moments in my life. The birth of my children, marrying my husband, and becoming a Mormon stand out in my mind. But right at the top of my 'list' would be my first trip to New Orleans, LA in February 2008. From the moment I could see the mighty Mississippi River from the airplane, my heart skipped a beat and I felt like I was coming home.

Stepping outside of the airport, drawing my first breath of New Orleans' air, feeling New Orleans' earth beneath my feet, and watching the people hustling and bustling by as I was engulfed with the city's metropolitan sounds swelling around me was surreal. Taking it all in was nearly impossible and I had to take pause before I motored to my hotel...I guess because I always said I'd make it to New Orleans, but I never actually believed I'd get there. During my brief but incredibly eventful stay, I took in as much as possible of the city I love.

I visited with my local musician friends, two of whom are a part of Harry Connick, Jr.'s big band. The entire time I was there, Harry was in town coordinating all of the music for the NBA All-Star Weekend, which was being held in New Orleans, coincidentally! Mardi Gras had just ended, a week or so earlier, so there were still beads hanging from the occasional tree branch or caught in a trolley track...a common sight for the locals, I'm sure, but super exciting for me ~ authentic MG beads!!! And I didn't even have to compromise my morals to obtain them!!! Heh.

Another friend of mine (who is in real estate) was kind enough to give me a tour of the FEMA disaster areas and Harry's Musicians' Village site he was building through Habitat for Humanity.

When it was time to say goodbye to my beloved city, I boarded the plane, quite depressed. I wasn't finished!! And just because I'd promised myself I'd come back, I was never certain it would actually happen.

Coming home was so bittersweet. As terrible as it sounds, I wasn't gone long enough to be homesick! Seeing the kids waiting for me at the airport was a delight, but coming back to Cincinnati's frigid negative wind chill factors and icy roads was definitely no fun.

As the song goes, "Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?" ~~~~ YES, I certainly do!

The good news, no, great news is that I'm goin' back!!! March 3rd!!! And I can't wait. Dad is taking me along to EPICon 2010 (Electronic Publisher's Internet Connection's annual writer's convention. Along with meeting some very cool authors and networking for my Dad's publishing company, we'll be taking a cruise on the Steamboat Natchez and staying at the Sheraton on Canal Street. Sooooo nice! Thank you, Daddy, for taking me along...I could not have asked for a more amazing gift! This was truly straight from his heart. I just hope I can show him a good time there and give him even a taste of the city I love so much. I do know we will forever have these memories that are yet to come but will be simply fabulous!

Keeping My Head Above Water

All week long, I feel like I've been treading water in a really chilly ocean. Like a buoy, I bob up and down, taking a quick breath when ever I can, and plugging my nose when I can't. Without going into exact detail, let's just say I've been pushed under water financially quite a lot this week. And there are other frustrations nagging at me as well.

Now, mind you, I've not given up, not by any means; this week just seems extraordinarily difficult. Since converting to the LDS, I know that the Holy Ghost is my constant companion. Having Jesus in my life gives me a sense of comfort and is my anchor. Our Heavenly Father is my lighthouse, my beacon of light, if you will. Having said this, I must remember it when a trial presents itself and I feel my head slipping below the surface of the water again.

The Lord fortifies me with every breath I take. I put my trust in His hands. And although I may be treading water in that chilly ocean, there have been no storms to speak of.